Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Day 3 - Something I have to forgive myself for

This one's actually easy too. Something I have to forgive myself for; the events which took place down at Macon my freshman year. Two things in particular. One being that night in September, and the other being the events which took place in March. I'm doing better with the first than the second, simply because of where the blame lies with those two incidents, and the difference in the two fallouts. The one in March, yeah... it pretty much completely changed the course of my life. And I still am yet to completely forgive myself for everything with that. I can't say that I regret the way things have happened over the past year and a half because I've had some great times and met some amazing people. I just have regrets with the way I got here. And I constantly question still what would have been had one single text never been sent. And that's what I really need to forgive myself for. It happened. End of story. I can't go back and change it. And while I may not be proud of how I got to where I am, I'm doing pretty damn well considering.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Okay so I moved this thing...

Well I realized that my full name was on the old one. And I wasn't exactly comfortable with that, so I figured it'd be best to change that now. I did copy and paste the 3 blogs that were on there though. So here they are...

So, in contrast to yesterday... something that I love about myself. And that's a really really easy one. My big heart. Without a question, that's my favorite thing about myself, and I know it's a good quality that I have. All of my friends know that I'll drop everything for them if they need it, and that I'll do whatever I can for people. I care probably more than I should, and I have a whole heck of a lot of love in my heart to give. Sometimes it bites me in the ass, but I try not to focus on that, and think about the fact that it's a good thing. But yeah. That's one thing I love about myself.
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Something I hate about myself
Just one thing? Well that's not a hard question or anything. Right now there's a pretty decent amount that I hate about myself to be quite honest. I could go with my awkwardness, my inability to let go of things, physical traits, the fact that I'm way too sensitive, or that I tend to think with my heart rather than my head. I could go with my incredibly short attention span, my indecisiveness, or my plain out weirdness; the fact that i can't shut my damn mouth half the time, or the fact that I'm incredibly moody half the time.
I'm going to go with the fact that no matter what I do, I never seem to be good enough though. That's the one that always comes back to me and always upsets me. And I absolutely hate it. No matter what I do, someone is always better. This applies to literally everything in my life. Relationships, school, music, etc. In every relationship I've had, I obviously haven't been good enough. School, I push myself way harder than I should half the time. The other half is kind of bullshit. But I never measure up to what people want of me. I'm not going to go any further with this one because it's just depressing me, but yeah. That's something that I really hate about myself.

So I'm stealing this from Emily (and Taryn and Colleen...) because I kinda like it. So here goes nothing.

Day 01
Something you hate about yourself.
02 Something you love about yourself.
Day 03
Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04
Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05
Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06
Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07
Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08
Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09
Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10
Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11
Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12
Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13
A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14
A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15
Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16
Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17
A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18
Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19
What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20
Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21
(scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22
Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23
Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24
Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25
The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26
Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27
What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28
What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29
Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30
A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
So I keep deleting this and coming back to it. This time I'm honestly going to try and keep up with it. Over the past 4 months, I've had some serious ups and downs in my life, and I like having a place to let it all out. I fell in love, thought I had it all figured out, and then found out I was wrong. I've laughed and cried, and made some of the best and worst memories of my life. I've had some amazing people come into my life, and let some not so amazing people go. I've had my heart broken into a thousand pieces, but somehow figured out how to put it back together. But most of all, I've survived. And although I've learned some of the hardest lessons of my life, I can honestly say that this past summer (yes, today was the first day of fall... so it all counts as summer haha) was one of the best of my life.

And with that, I probably should get back to my homework. Considering I do have a freakin' crapton of it. Meh.